"You are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes."
Related: Why You Should Always Give Credit and Take Blame
This principle formed the cornerstone of legendary coach John Wooden's philosophy on life and leadership, passed down from his father, Joshua.
In his book My Personal Best with Steve Jamison, Wooden recounts how his father lost the family farm: "The end came suddenly. A bad vaccination serum killed the pigs, the drought slowed down the harvests, and the bank took over the farm. At that time, there was no insurance for this kind of problem, so we lost everything. It was a very difficult time for our family, and the Great Depression had not even started."
"Through it all, Dad never winced. He didn't blame the shopkeeper who sold him the wrong serum, didn't curse the weather, and held no hatred toward the banker. My father had done his best, but things had gone wrong. 'Blaming, cursing, hating doesn't help you,' he said. 'That hurts you.' His example is deeply ingrained in my mind and, hopefully, reflected in my behavior."
The idea of owning your mistakes rather than shifting blame was central to Wooden's teaching and coaching. Swen Nater, a former UCLA and NBA star whom Wooden coached, once expressed frustration at Christian Heritage College in El Cajon, California, because his players weren't grasping his lessons quickly enough. When Nater consulted Wooden, the coach advised: You haven't taught until they have learned.
This insight inspired the book You Haven't Taught Until They Have Learned: Teaching Principles and Practices of John Wooden by Swen Nater and Ronald Gallimore. Wooden reflected: "When I became a high school teacher, I took my responsibility very seriously. I believe I was paid to teach, and that meant it was my responsibility to help each of my students learn. I think it is impossible to claim that you have taught when there are students who have not learned."
As a leader, Wooden emphasized solving problems with your team rather than pointing fingers or lamenting a lack of talent. Blaming others blocks honest self-reflection, which is vital for growth. Leaders who own their missteps operate from the solutions department, not the excuses department.
In Wood on Leadership with Steve Jamison, Wooden captured it perfectly: "You can stumble and fall, make mistakes and errors, but you're not a failure until you blame others, including fate, for your results. Always believe that there is a positive in the negative. Things usually happen for a reason, even when you can't discern the reason. Remember, 'There is a special providence even in the fall of a sparrow.'"
Related: The Importance of Constant Self-Improvement
