Picture this: You're thrilled to share major company changes with an employee, expecting enthusiasm. Instead, you get a blank stare, a sigh, or outright pushback.
Even the best preparation can't guarantee perfect outcomes, but avoiding tough talks isn't the answer. An online survey of 1,000 employees found 91% believe miscommunications undermine leaders' credibility, missing key chances to build trust.
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With over 25 years managing teams, I've championed open dialogue while learning from my missteps. Those experiences—though humbling—sharpened my skills in repairing relationships and fostering meaningful exchanges. Here are key do's and don'ts I've honed:
1. Do ditch the script.
Preparation is crucial, but notes beat a rigid script every time. 'A difficult conversation tends to go better when you think of it as a normal conversation,' advises Holly Weeks, author of Failure to Communicate. Without knowing their lines, your counterpart senses the awkwardness. Use bullet points for flexibility and natural flow.
2. Don't skirt the issue.
Be direct: As a leader, state your goals upfront, invite theirs, then dive into the topic and reasoning.
3. Do empathize deeply.
We all carry biases, but clinging to them sabotages talks. Years ago, restructuring my team required role shifts to focus on our strengths. I assumed a senior leader grasped the 'why,' but skipped specifics on her new fit.
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She missed the business value. Conversations are two-way—view the issue from their lens too. If unsure, ask. Empathy opens doors.
Spotting her cues, I paused: 'How are you feeling about this?' Explaining how the shift let her specialize turned her into a vocal advocate.
4. Don't get defensive.
Resist blame-shifting or victimhood ('This is so hard for me!'). It dismisses their concerns. Own your part and collaborate on solutions.
5. Do lead with compassion.
Tough news stings, but empathy delivers it kindly. My restructure succeeded because I addressed her fears proactively, affirming her value. Anticipate concerns to reassure teammates they're essential.
Tough talks test us, especially with unexpected reactions. Reflect afterward: What worked? What to tweak? Pair self-review with transparency, active listening, and the right mindset to tackle them confidently.
Related: 6 communication skills that will make you a better leader
