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I worked for a boss for years. I learned a lot, including how not to do it 😉 . Only when it started to get in the way of my private life with 2 children, the youngest of whom just turned 1 and my father became terminally ill… only then could I choose for myself.
Only at that moment did I see what was really important and within a few weeks I made the step to start my own business. I can hear you thinking 'he's crazy' in such a period… but for me it couldn't have been better. Despite the pressure of wanting to perform, I finally something I really wanted to do. In addition, I was very flexible because I could organize my time myself.
Yes, those were tropical years and I was rarely in bed before 2am, but I've never been happier with a decision like this. Do what you like, what you are good at and listen to your own passion. If you can (and dare) choose to do so, you can't go wrong.
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The fact that working full-time makes me happy doesn't mean that someone else should too. Stop judging and give each other space. Everybody is different. The combination of work and family also feels different for everyone because of that individual need that you cannot determine for someone else.
I don't see my urge to work full-time in all mothers and that's fine, right? For example, I started MamsatWork out of the frustration that I didn't feel at home in the schoolyard. Because yeah… I was working full time and didn't have time to keep chatting with other moms. I dropped my child and ran high heels to my next appointment. That worked for me, except that my guilt continued to grow because I felt that 'people' thought I was not doing well.
I therefore absolutely want to tell my daughter that she makes her own choice, but that she will never speak negatively about the choice of someone else. After all, you don't know the situation.
As silly as this may sound, my kids don't always come first. At the risk of getting a flood of comments, this one belongs to me anyway 😉 .
Of course I am there if they really need me. But how often do my children think they need me when this is actually not so bad? If you let them cook in their juices for a while, they will come out on their own. In my opinion, this makes them more independent and aware. Aware of the fact that I may be their mom, but I am also myself. And I also need time for myself.
Very consciously I can indicate after a 'MAAAAAAAAM' that I am not coming now. I'm working on something else now. Then I'll be there for her again.
Do you know the pronunciation? As far as I'm concerned, he hits the nail on the head when you talk about the combination of work and family. Although… if you don't work, it may just be that you need outside help. And that's allowed!
It's okay to ask for help from others. With your parents, in-laws, friends. But also with your neighbor or, if necessary, a colleague if it suits you. I see plenty of friends around me who make little use of it. For example, who often stay at home because they have children. Of course, not everyone can call in the same auxiliary troops as another, but if you really think about it, you can probably come up with something.
For example, our children not only regularly sleep with grandparents, but also regularly with a friend. And vice versa of course, because for what belongs something. That means a lot of crowds in the house every now and then, but also regular me-time for Frank and myself, which is also very important to keep everything 'maintained' 😉 .
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We are who we are in our family and we each have our share. Frank can do his own thing if he wants, so can I. We do things together, but he also does household chores. That is also something I want to pass on to my daughter (and son). You don't have to carry the combination of work and family alone. You have just as much right to this interpretation of your life in the future as your partner.
You too can be part of society in the way you want to, and if that means you want to work (full-time), that's okay. As long as you're really okay with that. Don't do things because I did them that way, but do them because you want to do them that way. In any case, know that your rights are worth as much as your partner's, and that you don't automatically have to be the one to give up or cut her job in half should you ever be lucky enough to have children…
By the way, all this also applies to my son 😉 . Especially with the last story about being a role model, I also try to give him the right basis. I hope he grows up as a loving young man who also gives his partner all the chances in the world. That he and her (or him, whatever) dare to combine work and family in a way that is positive for both. And that he will also support his partner later on in the same way as his father currently does with me ♥ … and his grandfather (my father) used to do that with his grandmother (my mother).
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