Being together with your children a lot, the advantages and disadvantages at a glance

Are you a real stay-at-home mom? Do you love nothing more than being with your children? Or are you a mother who likes to work a lot? Or are you somewhere in the middle. I have never experienced that I was at the extreme of a lot of work. I consciously chose not to, because I want to be there a lot for my children. My situation did change from working outside the door for a few days to a situation in which I work at home (during my children's school days) and am always there for them. So now I'm much (more) with the kids. I see that as a huge privilege, but, I don't always like it…

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Spending a lot of time with your children

Until a year and a half ago I worked outside the door a few days a week. On those days, the children went to daycare and to the BSO. I was there on the other days for my children. Now I work from home and pick up my children from school every day. My youngest goes to preschool three mornings a week. These mornings (and many evenings) I spend at work. As a self-employed person, I can of course organize my time completely as I want. At the beginning of the afternoon I pick up my three children and I am the stay-at-home mother again. Spending a lot of time with your children clearly has advantages and disadvantages for me.

The benefits of spending a lot of time with your children

Let me start with the enormous benefits this brings to us as a family!

• lots of structure, clear rules (the children know exactly what to do with you, get a good basis)
• sufficient rest for the children (you can give them this where necessary)
• a very strong bond with the children with lots of hugs, good conversations and beautiful moments (and memories!) together
• never again stress and arguing if one of the children is sick
• no stress and hassle when picking up the children from the daycare
• all the time to prepare dinner, do laundry and other household chores

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But there are certainly disadvantages

Well, every advantage has its disadvantage. What I do like is that these are mainly disadvantages for myself. In my opinion, the children only benefit from the fact that I am there for them so much. Or well, I think so… Maybe they are more than tired of my nagging 😉 .

• little variety:almost every week follows a fixed pattern:bringing children, working, fetching children, being there for the children, cooking,... (I would like to see less of the school environment!)
• more bothered by annoyances:because you spend a lot of time with your children, you are also more likely to be bothered by them (unfortunately that's how it goes, just like in a relationship!), so more nagging, arguing and crying around me… with a irritated mother as a result
• you (sometimes) enjoy the moments together less intensely, because it is a habit and not something special
• less time for myself:by working outside the home (despite working) you also have more time to just be yourself (instead of mom!)

But again, I have nothing to complain about, I feel very privileged that I can be so full for them. And that I can also work or, well, carry out my hobby for money. This allows me to give my children a lot, so that they can develop into three beautiful adults, with whom I hope to spend a lot of time (if they still want me!)

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