My first speaking engagement was at my children's kindergarten. I was so nervous my knees shook, and my fingers fumbled through endless notes. I was far more focused on myself—making a good impression and avoiding embarrassment—than on the three people in the room.
It was a humble start. Since then, I've spoken to thousands across audiences and refined my skills. The breakthrough came in Columbus, Ohio, when a tech glitch left me without slides or notes. Panicked, I prayed in the bathroom: 'Dear God, it's me again. No advice?' The whisper: 'You know your stuff, Margie. No notes needed. Speak to serve, and you'll be fine.'
It was my best presentation ever—more heart, less head.
I've heard countless stories of public speaking terror: a man vomiting before a conference talk, a woman needing a 'mental health day' after a sales pitch request, another saying she'd 'die' doing what I do. These fears—of exposure, rejection, criticism—are real, triggering deep vulnerability.
My top advice for confident speaking? Don't worry about yourself.
It sounds simple, especially if your job hinges on a pitch or your knees buckle at the thought. But self-focus sabotages impact. The less you worry about you, the better you serve everyone—ironically boosting your success.
Related: 'The three rules of three' for effective communication
1. Set your highest intention.
What comes from the heart reaches the heart. Clarify your intent: improve lives, not prove brilliance or win fans. Ego-driven words trigger defenses; service-focused ones connect.
2. Refine your main messages.
Keep it simple—people can't absorb overload. What's the one key takeaway and action? Limit slides; less is more. Avoid fire-hose overwhelm.
3. Show, don't just tell.
Stories stick, stats fade. A man recalled my brother's motorcycle accident story years later for its 'reframing' lesson. Use relevant, humorous tales to reinforce points.
4. Be humble and authentic.
Audiences connect with the human, not the hero. Share vulnerabilities alongside victories—journey over perfection. Own your worth with humility and curiosity.
5. Tune into your intuition.
Read the room: sense unspoken needs, fears, frustrations. A small intuitive shift can elevate good to brilliant.
6. Embody authority.
Presence trumps words. Stand tall, breathe deeply, own your space. Speak calmly, confidently, with eye contact and service mindset.
7. Give yourself permission to improve.
It's a skill honed by practice—not perfection. Don't wait for Oprah-level polish. Aim to enhance every talk. Remember: it's not about you.
Your voice matters. Breathe, trust yourself, speak to uplift.
Related: Your Words Are Powerful: 8 Positive Speaking Habits to Build You
