When we first launched our business, I had to lead a major stakeholder call. I spent hours preparing because so much depended on it. Spoiler alert: it was a disaster.
Related: How choking under pressure can be a good thing
The conference call software limited us to 26 people—something I unfortunately forgot. It wasn't until messages started pouring in from people unable to connect that I realized the issue.
The software had a webinar feature for larger groups, so I scrambled to share new access codes while directing those already on the line. By the time everyone joined, we had just 20 minutes left, and I was exhausted. Secretly, I wanted to teleport away and recover from the blunder. But I felt a deep obligation to our stakeholders, my business, and its values.
I cared deeply about that failure. Yet I channeled my stress and pushed forward with confidence, not ignoring the mistake but refusing to let it derail us.
Afterward, I received emails praising how I handled it—messages that surprised and gratified me. What I did that day aligned with proven leadership strategies.
Research from Cornell University in 2016 shows that reframing distress as passion in stressful situations makes you appear more competent. In essence, shift negative emotions to positive ones.
The key question: how?
Related: How Successful People Can Beat Stress
Here are four do's and don'ts for leading confidently through stress, drawn from my experience as CEO of Skyline Group International, Inc., and backed by research.
1. Don't hold back your emotions.
It's tempting to stay stoic, but our research at Skyline Group found that showing appropriate emotion is 40% more effective than appearing unemotional. People notice stress—pretending otherwise feels inauthentic. Channel emotions wisely: turn nervousness into excitement, frustration into determination. Ask yourself: How can I transform this negative feeling into something positive? This preserves your leadership credibility.
2. Stand tall.
Good posture matters. A study in Health Psychology reveals that upright posture during stress boosts self-esteem and mood, while slouching breeds doubt. Standing tall signals confidence to your brain and team, showing stress won't break you.
3. Don't apologize excessively.
Repeated "I'm sorry" screams self-doubt and cedes control. Even if not your fault—tech glitches happen—stay composed. Say, "We hit a snag, but I'll resolve it in a minute." This reassures everyone you're in charge and moving forward.
4. Admit the mistake.
When it's your error, own it without over-apologizing. In my call fiasco, I acknowledged the oversight on participant limits but quickly pivoted to solutions. Accountability builds trust, showing honesty over deflection.
Related: 6 communication skills that will make you a better leader
