I wouldn't claim my elementary school bullies defined me, but those formative experiences profoundly shaped my career and leadership approach—insights I'm still uncovering today.
At my tiny school with just 40 students, I made it my mission to welcome new girls from other countries into our close-knit group. Those efforts, however, made me the target. The popular girls bullied me relentlessly, chasing me around the playground chanting, “You have no life! You do not have friends!” To escape, I ate lunch alone in the girls' bathroom. Isolated yet resilient, I discovered the power of shared meals to forge connections. Unknowingly, this planted the seed for founding Chewse—a company dedicated to creating authentically connected spaces where no one eats alone.
Leading with Heart and Inclusion
Those lonely lunches influenced far more than my company's mission. My outsider perspective directly informs how I lead, fostering a transparent, inclusive culture at Chewse.
We've structured our business to ensure no one is sidelined. Delivery drivers and meal hosts are full employees, not contractors, fully invested in our success. While gig models suit some businesses, they wouldn't support the empowering culture we prioritize.
Once onboard, we nurture a holistic environment. Work-life boundaries blur, and pretending otherwise is unrealistic and unhealthy. Loneliness affects us all, so my team greets everyone with warmth—hugs are the norm at Chewse! As a former outsider, I emphasize eye contact and genuine outreach to build instant bonds.
Related: The Most Important Part of Success is Connection
5 Steps to Inclusive Leadership
Childhood bullying didn't break me; it honed my ability to empower others. Here are five key practices I've implemented:
1. Embrace Transparency.
Salary transparency has been a cornerstone of our culture from the start. We base pay on performance, not negotiation, and share it company-wide—including mine. This empowers informed decisions and, as research confirms, boosts productivity, creativity, collaboration, and motivation.
We adopted this after noticing women negotiated less aggressively than men, leading to pay gaps for equal work. Transparency positions us as part of the solution.
2. Prioritize Personal Growth.
Leaders rarely get candid feedback. I've built a support network through therapy, executive coaching, and CEO peer groups—dedicating at least three hours weekly. This self-investment sharpens my self-awareness, enabling more inclusive choices.
3. Cultivate Self-Compassion.
We all carry past wounds. Repressing them harms health, but self-compassion—treating yourself kindly—enhances emotional intelligence, happiness, and resilience, per numerous studies, while reducing anxiety and depression.
For me, it's visualizing my younger self in that bathroom, taking her hand, treating her to a café snack, sharing our successes, and reassuring her. This inner kindness fuels my capacity to uplift others.
4. Amplify Every Voice.
Ensuring all perspectives are heard drives innovation and personal growth. Our culture committee, with rotating members, gathers feedback and launches initiatives, teaching assertiveness and fostering confidence.
5. Break the Silence.
Balancing empathy with business needs is key during tough times. Our daily color-coded check-ins signal emotional states, timing feedback or projects thoughtfully. As a bullied child, I craved such check-ins.
Fridays feature 'attitudes of gratitude'—20 minutes sharing appreciations, like support teams thanking engineering for bug fixes. This bridges teams, enhances health, and boosts productivity.
What leader limits growth to themselves? I'd stifle potential and company success. My style, born from adversity, evolved into a passion for inclusive spaces—fueling Chewse's mission and thriving teams.
