The first fight was over music. She craved pop and hip-hop; I preferred classics. Hours later, we clashed over coffee—I drank too much, she said; not enough, I countered, gulping espresso at warp speed. It was Day 1 with my new "officer," the incredible woman I married in November 2019.
Four months after our wedding, my wife and I were cooped up together. We escaped occasionally (never underestimate a good walk), but mostly we woke up, worked, and unwound with reading, TV, and whatever relaxation we could muster amid rising anxiety.
Building this routine took effort, given our wildly different work styles. As a couple, we're a perfect match—our Newlywed Game scores prove it. As colleagues? Not quite.
I rise early, brew coffee, and dive into writing: pounding the keyboard, sweating details, investing emotionally in every sentence. She sleeps longer, wakes for a morning workout, then attacks work like an efficient whirlwind—flitting between projects, handling calls and tasks with fierce composure. When she pauses, she cooks. Distracted by her blueberry muffins, I watch her jump back into a team call.
After our caffeine and soundtrack skirmishes, we adapted. Each day ends with sticky notes sharing one positive quality we observed during the workday. These keep us grounded and have guided me to a stronger work ethic, better productivity, and—crucially—more relaxation.
Here are some notes I left for my favorite pandemic-era work partner:
“I like your Zoom tag”
Zoom fatigue is real, but my wife's tag embodies patience and Michael Dell's wisdom: Never be the smartest person in the room. She asks questions, defers to experts, and consults teammates before deciding. In pandemic chaos, it's exemplary—and it's boosted my own patience.
“I envy your efficiency”
I skip breaks, juggle tabs (Google Docs, news, Spotify), and multitask poorly. She takes intentional pauses (those muffins!), sticks to one playlist, and focuses deeply while recharging as needed. Her approach has made me a sharper writer, colleague, and husband.
“I admire your problem-solving approach”
In her high-stakes role, tough calls come daily. Yet she collaborates relentlessly, looping in colleagues despite isolation's temptations. She builds virtual tables for everyone, modeling inclusive leadership.
“I like your sense of humor”
Laughter feels scarce amid dark news and caffeine-fueled frenzy. But she finds it in slide deck quirks, awkward virtual icebreakers, or lunch chats. Sharing laughs lightens even the heaviest days.
“I love the way you practice kindness every chance you get”
Encouraging words for weary teammates, praise for newcomers, impromptu kitchen dance parties—she spreads joy daily. These acts remind us colleagues are people first, and I've got the world's best office mate.
