“Mommy, you know what I used to do?” my eight-year-old son Sam asks as I lean in for his goodnight kiss. Lately, he's been reminiscing about 'the old days' like a seasoned veteran, and I know exactly what's coming. As a mom who's navigated toddlerhood firsthand, I've been there for every moment—or so I thought. Sam, like many toddlers, craved constant connection. Separation anxiety? It seemed textbook with him.
I was totally caught off guard by his innocent revelation about his supposed toddler separation anxiety.
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Sam has always been the kid who's involved in every activity—asking questions, offering help, and announcing everything from Lego masterpieces to TV shows, even mundane updates like 'I'm going potty.' Even with earplugs in, I'd hear him. This attention-seeking was classic toddler behavior, and he hasn't outgrown it entirely.
Related read: Toddler 'Puberty': I'm 2 and I Say No!
I keep a straight face as I sit on his bed, stroking his hair. 'Tell me! What did you always do?'
'I always cried when you dropped me off at the Blue Group?'
I nod knowingly. On my workdays, I'd take him to daycare's Blue Group (his forever name for it). Not every day—two days there, two with grandparents, where rules were blissfully lax. As we pulled up, Sam's face would fall. 'We're just going to look, right? Then I come with you, Mom.' Classic signs of separation anxiety, or so I believed.
I'd reassure him: 'Yes, let's peek in. Stay and play while I work.' Handing over my sweet, vulnerable boy was heartbreaking—he'd sense it and chase after me, wailing 'Mommy! Mama!' No parent forgets that gut punch.
To ease it, on full days at Blue Group, I'd have Grandpa pick him up midday. A three-year-old's time sense is fuzzy, but it soothed my guilt over his separation anxiety. Or maybe it was more for me—likely both.
Sam grins from his bed. 'When Grandpa came, I always hid!'
Stunned, I ask why. 'You hated Blue Group, right? Weren't you thrilled to leave?'
'I didn't want to go yet. It was BAD-FUN there!' he says.
Speechless, I recall my stomach-churning drop-offs, rushed commutes, skipped breaks, work bleeding into home life—all from guilt over his 'anxiety.' Turns out, it was baloney! He loved it. Feeling like a silly goose, I snap back: 'I'm so glad you had fun there.' Big kiss. 'Goodnight, sweetie.'
As I head down the hall, he calls, 'Mommy, one more thing about today!' Nope—it's past eight, bedtime. I know this delay tactic too well. 'Lights out!' I reply firmly.
Read also: Do Children Dream from an Early Age?
Struggling with toddler goodbyes? Check these proven tips or grab the book 'What Your Toddler Tells You' for expert insights when you're stumped.
