In two weeks, I'll dive into my first meeting with the Supervisory Board at my new job—jumping in at the deep end! It's thrilling, a hallmark of my life's adventures. Yet, it stirs complex emotions: excitement to rejoin society, tinged with guilt toward my child.
Many mothers grapple with this. That persistent guilt is hard to shake, especially in the early years when balancing work and small children. It creates mixed feelings, even with reliable childcare like a babysitter or daycare. ©2020
I felt deeply emotional leading up to it. After nearly a week in the Netherlands, filled with joy, the impending farewell hit harder than ever.
It's time to return to work; it'll shift my days beyond household chores and time with our son. I'm eager for personal growth and to expand beyond these home walls—working from home wouldn't suit me.
This temporary role marks the start of my life in Luxembourg, not a full career pivot. Yet, I don't want to miss our son's milestones. We share such joy and a strong bond, bringing tears and that inner conflict. I know stifling my ambitions could lead to unhappiness, affecting my family. But am I shortchanging my sweet, resilient little guy by working?
My mind shouts: 'NEW!'
My heart whispers: 'Maybe?'
Mentally, I know we must adapt to this new rhythm. This unique part-time opportunity in Luxembourg is one I'll seize fully. Time to release the double feelings and extra emotions. *Deep breath*
Do you recognize this? Did returning to work bring similar mixed emotions for you?
This article, originally published earlier, was updated on June 4, 2020.
