More than 15% of highly educated Dutch women aged 40 to 60 regret their partner choice—equating to around 120,000 women in this group. This insight comes from research by career consultancy SheConsult. The study also reveals that these women wished they had learned more about building self-confidence, navigating masculine workplace norms, negotiation skills, and personal profiling early in their careers.
Dissatisfaction often stems from partners contributing too little to household and care tasks, offering insufficient support for the woman's career ambitions, failing to inspire her professional growth, and prioritizing their own careers excessively. Notably, several respondents reported that their partners undermined their self-confidence, painting a picture of relationships where men may prefer their wives to forgo high-powered careers—or even actively discourage them.
Over 65% of these women started their careers as ambitious or very ambitious. However, ambition tends to wane over time: among the 30% who were very ambitious post-graduation, 42% saw their drive decline. The sharpest drop occurs in their thirties, a period of 'reality check' when women reassess their success, career viability, and willingness to make required sacrifices.
Additionally, 39% regret career decisions, such as not pursuing key challenges, switching employers sooner, or avoiding part-time work. More than 20% lament the division of care responsibilities. A majority (54%) wish they had tackled insecurities earlier, while 30% desired deeper knowledge of strategic operations, masculine rules, profiling, and negotiation.
