How Practicing Gratitude Transforms You into a Stronger Leader

I don't spend much time in the kitchen—play to your strengths, right? But I've always found cooking magical. Distinct ingredients blend to create something extraordinary: spices add richness, butter depth, salt complexity. Remove them, and you're left with bland pureed squash. Yuck!

We're much the same. Born with innate traits, we're shaped by others from day one. Parents lay the foundation—like flour and eggs—then friends, mentors, and colleagues add flavor. Some bring bitterness we hope fades; others elevate a simple meal to Michelin-star quality.

As we enter this season of gratitude, I reflect on those who've enriched my life beyond basic fare. I honor them, express thanks, and commit to becoming the chef who helps others rise, avoiding a deflated soufflé.

Related: The 3 types of people you need in your life

A few years ago, I created my first gratitude list, naming those who draw out my best:

• My dad, who modeled living and leading with integrity.
• My mom, who filled my days with love and taught me to share it.
• My wife, Margaret, who brings joy to every moment.
• Elmer Towns, theologian, who ignited my vision for building a great church.
• John Wooden, legendary basketball coach, who urged me to make every day a masterpiece.
• My team, who inspires achievement, turns visions into reality, and keeps me grounded.

I wrote for 30 minutes that day, barely scratching the surface. I update it regularly—in writing or reflection—acknowledging daily gifts, from dream-inspiring mentors to the barista's kind word with my coffee.

This practice reveals gratitude as the antidote to leadership's deadliest foes: pride, isolation, and selfishness. Success can inflate egos, erasing the hands behind it. Pride alienates, isolation blinds us to others' needs, and selfishness poisons decisions. Gratitude reminds us of our interdependence, shifting focus to serving others.

Related: 4 Science-Backed Reasons Gratitude Brings You Happiness

“‘Thank you’ is the best prayer you can say,” says author Alice Walker. “I say it often. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”

If showing appreciation isn't your habit, start now. No need for lavish gifts—recognize a team member's contribution, thank Dad for those Little League Saturdays years later, or praise your spouse for dinner, laundry, or homework help.

“The people who matter,” said publisher Malcolm Forbes, “are aware that everyone also does.”

Gratitude's pinnacle? Investing in others' growth—my lifelong passion. Do it intentionally:

• Listen to their stories: families, interests, dreams. Make conversations about them.
• Share your gifts: coach a speech, refine a business plan.
• Solicit ideas: contributions build confidence and skills.
• Provide opportunities: pass the torch to emerging leaders.

Around my 40th birthday, after many accomplishments, dissatisfaction hit. I'd mentored leaders but kept them sidelined—sous chefs with chef potential. The epiphany: life isn't what you achieve, but what you enable others to achieve. In my kitchen, there's always room for more cooks.

Related: 6 Heartfelt Ways to Express Gratitude

This article originally appeared in the November 2017 issue of SUCCESS magazine.