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When to say "I quit"

I was 35, 11 years into my career with three years with my current employer, when I realized I hated my job. I still loved writing magazines, but I had begun to see co-workers, one by one, cut the corporate umbilical cord (or have it cut by the economy) and go into freelancing. Meanwhile, I was trapped in my car on my daily commute and drifting during business meetings - daydreaming about a day walking around my boss's office, decreeing 'I'm quitting' and doing the slo-mo rockstar ride down the hall and into a world where I was my own boss.
Related: What to do if you hate your job

But in my fantasy, I didn't know exactly what would be waiting on the other side of those elevator doors. And that uncertainty has always kept me anchored to my desk. Quitting your job is not something you want to do on a whim. You need to be sure that you are mentally ready to walk away from the herd and you need to assess the frontier ahead of you.
First, ask yourself why you are unhappy and whether leaving a full-time job will change that. “People focus on the 'assumed' when thinking about their careers,” says Priscilla Claman, life coach and president of Career Strategies. "I'm supposed to be a director now or I'm supposed to make more money. They forget to ask, Is this okay with me? or IIs this really what I want? What people should look for in a job is a match between the job and their strengths and skills. When that happens, it doesn't feel like work. »

Quitting your job is not something you want to do on a whim. You need to be sure that you are mentally ready to step away from the herd and you need to assess the frontier that lies ahead.

Even though I dreamed of quitting my job, I still loved my colleagues and my boss. I believed in the company and its values. It wasn't about the money or my title. I wanted to operate on my own terms, writing about topics that interested me rather than what was assigned to me. My profession had become a job.
Related: Before You Leave Your Job, Try These 3 Things
Next, think about all the external factors, starting with those closest and working outward. How was my family going to get money or health insurance? What kind of economy have I ventured into? Have I lined up potential customers? "When you start your own business, there's a waiting period," says Claman. "When you start marketing your skills, you won't see any results for a few months. Claman suggests starting with the client who knows you best:your current employer. Ask them if they will keep you part-time or as a consultant or contributor. That way, you'll have a base of support to build on.
No matter how prepared someone is, I'm not sure anyone is ready to jump. In fact, I never got around to fulfilling my quit challenge fantasy – I was gently let go, my displeasure affecting my work more than I had imagined. But my boss thought enough about my past performance to offer me a part-time contract. My wife had a corporate job with good benefits to cover us and our two daughters. More importantly, she noticed my misery and encouraged me to try the other half of my dream. Three years after I started freelance writing full-time, I'm making more money than ever doing work I love and take pride in.
And I no longer dream of what could be on the other side of the elevator doors.
Related: How to find meaning in your work

This article originally appeared in the Fall 2018 issue of LadiesBelle I/O magazine.