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An open letter to my friends, about being a mother!

Around me there are more and more people who want to start having children. Compared to my environment, I am early and as one of the few already have a family. Being a mother is therefore not an issue with my friends. I am a big proponent of people starting to reproduce around me, but I do want to give them something now that the time of the flowers and the bees is coming again 😉 .

Being a mother, what is it really like when that pink cloud is gone?

There have been times when I have felt misunderstood. Playing around with a diaper, with screaming children in the supermarket or a restaurant and my friends watching how I would solve that. Keeping in mind how they would do it. I also prefer old-fashioned outings. That we sit together on the couch (at my house) with a cup of tea, chatting for hours, TLC in the background or just impulsively into town, dancing with drinks. But that has all changed!

And now I hear you say what you absolutely would and wouldn't do with the kids, or how you want to do it. I now realize that I also thought the same…

But here's how it actually goes, at least with me, but probably with even more mothers!

Being a mother and career

I said that I would continue to work as much as possible, just not full-time. Pursue my ambitions and my career. Anything but sitting at home with kids. Now I'm glad I sometimes spend a day at home with them (maternity leave is a bit too long for me). You will really miss your child when you are at work and have a moment to swipe through your photos.

Being a mother and your household

Also, I would keep our living room neat and orderly, not toys everywhere. We would keep it tight and then upstairs a room where they can play. But the truth is that the kids here have a corner with at least thirty cars and a garage they can drive in and a train track with a duplo train that runs eight hours all day…

And I said they could play with one thing, and then if they wanted to play with something else, they'd clean up the previous one first. That is also an illusion, but it is wonderful to see your children playing themselves, with you, downstairs, with that corner full of toys.

I thought that babyhood lasted a really long time, and that it was so easy. That you could just do your own thing like you do without a baby. That you could take a nice shower, mask, depilate. But a baby cries, and let it cry for 10 minutes is okay, but you don't do that for an hour. You are no longer relaxed at the first cry. So you step out of the shower with one smooth leg and a well ehhh… non-slippery leg.

I also thought that all you have to do is hug a baby and all you have to do is sit with it while you watch your series. Nothing is less true! Everything you want to do you have to do between the bottles, your baby does not go to sleep immediately (of course) and your household does not go smoothly (unfortunately ... this will only get worse). Just like the groceries, let alone shopping… it all takes a lot more time. In addition, the pram does not fit in most fitting rooms, so while trying on clothes you are busy with peek-a-boo games from behind the curtain… really… long live the online shopping baskets 😉 .

My intention was also to wake up quietly with the children, on working days. After all, they only need a sandwich, a little milk, and clothes. Just like you. Well, feel free to allow two hours and if, like me, you took a shower first, then do so in the evening or reserve an extra fifteen minutes. Putting on your make-up hastily in the car when you are in a traffic jam, or in the parking lot in front of the office is also an alternative.

Hooray weekend! Uhhhh No, weekends are no longer weekends, it's really hard work (and enjoy). Yet after some weekends you are happy to get back to work at the office.

And I could go on and on.

Dear friends, I sincerely hope that in a while you will all be able to fulfill your own wish for children. That we can all restrain our children during a dinner. That I see you fighting the sleep with the bags under your knees. Know that I will always be there for a little help but that I will also give you a sweet smile sometimes.

In advance; toi toi toi!