Quitting work to become a full-time mom sounds perfect, but as Monique shares in her story, it comes with real challenges. While her husband provides financially, much of the child-rearing falls on her—and it's tougher than expected.
I'm Monique, 36 years old, married to my childhood sweetheart Danny, and mom to two boys: Jona (10) and Luka (8). I dropped out of school early, unsure of my path, then started in retail at 18. Over the years, I advanced to assistant store manager at a major shoe chain. When our children arrived, I chose to stay home. Here's why—and the downsides I'm facing now.
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My husband started as a roofer, then got his trucker's license through his company and became an international truck driver. He's only home weekends, and his pay reflects that schedule. Soon after, we discussed kids. We both wanted one parent home full-time instead of daycare—our parents had worked, and we disliked that option. His income made it possible for me to stay home.
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In 2006, our oldest was born, and I became a full-time mom. I loved syncing with his nap schedule, long walks, and being there for illnesses—knowing every detail for the doctor brought peace.
I thrived on motherhood. Even with repetitive days while friends worked, we made great memories: first steps, first words—I witnessed it all. We felt for my husband missing out, but it was our choice, and we lacked for nothing. In 2008, we upgraded to a bigger family home, and our youngest arrived that year—a colicky baby.
Handling it solo got hard. I couldn't complain—it was our plan—but with two little ones, I was exhausted by day's end, dreading mornings. At 3, our oldest showed behavioral issues, leading to diagnoses of ADHD and PDD-NOS. He needs routine and structure, which I provided seamlessly, skipping work excuses for appointments.
We've grown reliant on my husband's income; time off is rare for him. Parenting a child with special needs builds resilience, but constant solo decisions and explaining dad's absence wore me down. Still, amid therapies, staying home felt like a gift—no time for a job anyway.
Read also: Stay-at-home mom: I'll stay home with my kids
Structure rules our home. Last year, our youngest was diagnosed with ADHD and giftedness, demanding daily challenges. The boys clash often, leaving me refereeing. My husband and I question our 10-year-old choice. It's draining being home alone with therapy schedules; I yearn to work and reclaim 'just Monique' time.
My husband misses family life too. Quick calls can't replace presence, and the boys crave dad talks.
We're pivoting: I'll work part-time, he'll take an evening-home job for family dinners and shared parenting. My bond with the boys is strong—I want that for him too. They've known only weekend dad, so my return to work sparks fears of after-school care, despite peers' parents working.
Read also: German stay-at-home moms receive subsidy
I'm targeting school-hour roles. Our continuous school schedule helps flexibility. I revisited retail, leveraging my management experience and customer love, but hear I'm 'too old' or inflexible for weekends. Quitting work aged me out, it seems. No rush—we're stable—but change beckons. For now, boys thrive at school, home's tidy 😊.
