Conflicts with your children are inevitable and essential for their growth. No matter how harmonious your family, kids will challenge you—often over unexpected issues. For me, it was Girl Scout Cookies.
My daughter Annie, an enthusiastic Girl Scout, was eager to sell cookies to earn prizes and support her troop. She asked me to help at LeapFrog, where I had invented the LeapPad. Colleagues knew and adored Annie from her voice recordings for the product. I envisioned a proud father-daughter bonding moment as she arrived in uniform.
But there was a catch. My wife and I had long eliminated trans fats—partially hydrogenated oils—from our diet due to their health risks (thankfully, they're now mostly gone from these cookies). Spotting them on the label, I told Annie we couldn't sell them. Tensions rose immediately.
"Dad, do you want me to sell cookies to my friends that we wouldn't eat ourselves?" she asked. "What do you know that's toxic?" I replied, escalating the drama.
"But Dad, these are Girl Scout Cookies!" Annie protested.
"Alright, let me think," I said. Annie sighed, knowing I'd use my PTS approach—the Problem To Solve—a technique honed in my career for breakthrough success.
Related: How to solve any problem that gets in your way
Effective and Ethical Problem-Solving
Annie wanted to sell cookies; I wanted to protect health and our values. Compromising for prizes would model poor ethics. The key? Clearly define the PTS.
Most conflicts fail because people misdefine the problem or treat symptoms. We pinpointed ours: not selling boxed cookies, but fundraising. With Scout leader approval (another leadership lesson for Annie), we baked healthy alternatives. We spent a magical weekend baking, and she sold out at LeapFrog, winning her prize.
Why PTS Matters
This story is now family lore. Annie, now a successful founder of Step Ahead—a nonprofit for autistic children—credits it with shifting her view of 'unsolvable' problems into exciting challenges. Defining the PTS fosters a founder's mindset: productive, insightful problem-solving. It reveals solutions once the core issue is clear.
Related: How to Develop Critical Thinking Skills
Mastering PTS takes practice. Here's how:
1. Start with your values. They frame ethical boundaries. Our health commitment ruled out original cookies, sparking creative alternatives.
2. Identify calmly, step by step. Avoid reactive fixes. Apologize if needed, but probe root causes—like performance or communication gaps—for lasting resolutions. With investors, listen without ego, reassess needs.
3. Ask 'Why?' repeatedly. Annie's first 'why' was 'I have to.' By the seventh, we uncovered fundraising as the true goal. Patience unlocks critical thinking.
Annie's success stems from such practice. Cultivate PTS to solve ethically, lead, and inspire innovation.
