About 30 years ago, I had the profound privilege of spending three days with Peter Drucker, the father of modern management. That experience stands as one of my most treasured memories and a cornerstone of my leadership journey.
I absorbed his invaluable wisdom, and as our time together ended, he challenged me: "Now that you've learned from me, who will you teach?"
Until then, mentoring hadn't been on my radar. In my 40s, I was still climbing my own learning curve. I pictured mentors as seasoned elders with established legacies. But Drucker’s words hit home: mid-career, I had more experience than newcomers and the insights from my own mentors—from Drucker and college professors to my father. Rather than hoarding knowledge, I aspired to be like a river, continually replenished and nourishing others.
In this article, drawn from decades of leadership experience, I'll share how to give and receive mentorship effectively, fostering productive partnerships. Mentoring is a lifelong cycle. Once embraced, you're both teacher and student forever. Even at 70, I seek wisdom from others—sometimes far younger. True mentoring stems from experience, not age.
Related: The Powerful Legacy of Mentoring
For Mentors:
1. Choose wisely.
I get asked often how I select mentees. There's no formula or application. It's instinct and observation: Do they show potential? Is their passion evident? Are their goals clear? How do they approach me? A young man once proposed sending one question monthly on a card for my reply. His respect for my time resonated. We corresponded by letter for years.
I also assess fit: Can I provide what they need? Will my expertise accelerate their path? If not, I connect them elsewhere.
2. Don't overcommit.
Protect your capacity. I mentor no more than 10 people yearly, offering full focus during our time together. Mentoring isn't just scheduled meetings—my best moments with Mark Cole, my longtime mentee and company CEO, arise spontaneously throughout the day.
3. Craft lessons thoughtfully.
Mentoring blends spontaneity and structure. Early on, I scripted sessions based on my assumptions. Now, mentees drive the agenda, questions, and direction—while I shape the framework. Effective lessons include:
• Layers: Build cumulatively, like a foundation for their growth.
• Connections: Link ideas like puzzle pieces into a cohesive whole.
• Exploration: Show how one insight opens paths to others.
4. Share promptly.
Teaching reinforces your own learning—it's a way to distill essentials. I pass on fresh insights while they're vivid and exciting.
Related: 7 Ways to Be the Best Mentor Ever
For Mentees:
1. Clarify your goals.
Before approaching a mentor, reflect:
• What skills or knowledge do I seek? What are my short- and long-term objectives?
• Why this leader? (Fame or wealth alone won't cut it.) How can they advance my goals?
• What defines success for this relationship in a year?
2. Honor the dynamic.
Mentoring is professional, not casual friendship. Use time purposefully toward defined session goals and overarching aims.
3. Value their time.
When basketball legend John Wooden met me, I came prepared with five single-spaced pages of questions. Stunned but gracious, he invested hours. Afterward, he said, “John, I appreciate that. Return anytime with more. But!"
One standout mentee, Courtney McBath—now pastor of one of Virginia's largest churches—structured sessions like this:
This is what you said…
This is what I learned…
This is what I did…
Did I get it right?
May I ask another question?
My reply: "Ask away."
4. Prepare independently first.
My earliest mentors after my father? Books and tapes. Early in my career, I wasn't ready for live guidance. Start with self-study, note questions, and curate your own "John Wooden list."
5. Demonstrate progress.
Share wins, large and small. Mentors seek no payment—your growth is their reward.
Related: 10 Ways to Find Your Perfect Mentor
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Embracing Drucker's challenge enriched my life immeasurably. I thrive in this cycle of learning and teaching, knowing my mentees will carry it forward. Mentorship extends our influence, shares wisdom, and invites others into our legacy.
Today, you've gained from my experience. Now, who will you teach?
This article originally appeared in the March 2018 issue of SUCCESS magazine.
